Yield Like Water
The picture in this post is from Moab, Utah. I love sitting and looking at the Colorado River wrapping its way through the canyons. The friction from the water has cut through rock over thousands of years. In the Tao Te Ching, Chapter 78, Lao Tzu says:
Nothing in the world
is as soft and yielding as water.
Yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible,
nothing can surpass it.
The soft overcomes the hard;
the gentle overcomes the rigid.
Everyone knows this is true,
but few can put it into practice.
Therefore the Master remains
serene in the midst of sorrow.
Evil cannot enter his heart.
Because he has given up helping,
he is people's greatest help.
Sometimes I take on the shape of a rock, protecting myself from vulnerability, not yielding, standing strong in my opinions and stories. But for me, true strength yields. Water flows gently around obstacles, but it also dissolves anything that resists its power.
For me, I look for leaders who can “remain serene in the midst of sorrow.” I feel inspired by that visualization, and hope that I can continue to be more like that as I age.
For me, the final two sentences of this selection are two of the most transformative in wisdom literature.
Because he has given up helping,
he is people's greatest help
I think a lot about what it means to have “given up helping.” For me, I interpret this to mean that I don’t force people to do things. By letting go of being the help that everyone “needs,” I can start listening more, and giving out less advice. I can start trusting the internal wisdom of my peers and my children. I understand that I am a co-pilot. Important, yes, but not the answer.
In that place, I can be more like water flowing. And in that spirit, I can finally help. Not by doing, but simply by being.