Don't Transact
A few nights ago, around 10:00 pm, I really didn’t want to go on a walk. It was super cold, and all I wanted to do was take a bath and head to bed. But Teddy, our micro mini goldendoodle was insistent, and I’m glad Barbie and I took a stroll with him. It’s good for him and us, and it was refreshing for me, not just because of the brisk evening air and winter’s snow, but because I got to laugh as Teddy rushed into the house with a quilt of white over his belly and nose and scattered snow around the house, very invigorated from his trek.
It was a clear night in Salt Lake City with very little inversion, so I could see the mountains right up close to my house. And when there's snow all over the mountains, up against the night sky, it's one of the most inspiring settings that I know. The mountains represent so much. They are symbols of spirituality for so many people and cultures.
One of the main symbols for me is how people have climbed mountains or witnessed mountains as a way to connect to Source. Source is my preferred term to describe God, or the Divine. And this is a blog with a lot of different ideas about Source. I hope you can sense my respect, for whatever your belief system happens to be.
It’s inspiring to me, how so many people can relate to that: that somehow, whether it was Moses trekking up to Mount Sinai or the Tao Te Ching being drafted atop mountains, or temples placed high above the clouds in hopes of getting closer to God, there's something about mountains that always makes me feel like I'm more connected to Source. And when I was walking, looking at the setting – the mountains, sky, fresh coat of snow that was on the ground – I felt, thought, or heard a distinct message radiating in the setting.
And the message was: don't be transactional. Or perhaps, more clearly: don't you appreciate the people who aren't transactional?
Don't you appreciate the emails where someone takes the time to ask you about the vacation that you were on in addition to the signature they need on the document?
Isn't it nice when one of your work colleagues spends the first 30 seconds to a minute just connecting with you and asking you how you're doing? Or what kind of coffee did you enjoy this morning, Reese?
I just really appreciate it when someone sees me as a human. I'm not a transaction, and they're not just trying to get things from me.
I thought about how kids must feel when parents enter a room and start commanding them to do something or seemingly complaining. I wonder if kids feel a lot of the time very similar to how we feel as adults when our colleagues address us and always seem to be wanting to transact. I even considered, could Teddy sense that perhaps our walk was transactional? That we were out simply because it was what we were supposed to do, rather than to enjoy the company? Just as much as I want my colleagues and family to know it’s our humanness and connection that matters to me most, I hope Teddy, too, could sense that I was grateful for his companionship.
I really appreciate it when people take the time to engage with me and realize that my relationship, our friendship, our human connection, is more important than our work connection. That we are humans on the planet together, both doing our best, raising families and growing companies. The family part is more important than the business part. The people part is more real and more close to what we would expect to get from another person.
Relationships with animals, relationship with nature, relationships with people… I don't want life to be a bunch of transactions.
I’d love to know your feelings on this.